The elephant in the chocolate box.

In light of some issues that are being discussed in culture this Valentine's Day, let's reflect on what love is and isn't.  Sometimes

Mutual consent does not justify a resulting crime.  If someone is in a relationship where he or she suffers physical and emotional damage, it only sets forth his or her naivete when consenting earlier.

By fulfilling desires which inflict hurt on another, one is not showing "love" to the other person, but actually loving self.  "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church" (Ephesians 5:28-29).  A man and woman in a relationship actively take an interest in the other's needs, and will not knowingly offend them by prioritizing self-servience. "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4).  

The ends do not justify the individual wrongs of the means ("redemption stories").  In the rare event that a wrongdoer is turned from his or her sin, that does not automatically excuse his or her own active sinful behavior in the process, or the passive sinful behavior of the other abetting the active sin.  In the event that this redemption story is a fictional book or movie, appreciators of the work may use the consummation to excuse themselves, indulging in filling their minds with sin for a couple of hours.  This doesn't reverse the damage done along the way.

Ideas have consequences.  Bad ideas propagated from bad motives equal bad consequences. Subjective fantasies may be cloaked as harmless, but they can cause objective spiritual and physical scars.  In theory, one can enjoy a customized, self-gratifying lifestyle, but in practice, people get hurt and

What is God's purpose for a romantic relationship?  It's not there to make YOU feel better, first and foremost.  It is to cherish and care for another human being (and possible children!), also dealing with a sinful nature.  In marriage a man and woman make this promise to one another, and even if the happy feelings aren't there once in a while, they still show love.  This depicts Christ's unchanging love for the church, which He doubly promises  (Hebrews 6:17-18).  Through Him alone can we receive forgiveness for our selfishness and draw the strength to put others first.

I don't know how you usually spend Valentine's Day.  I have been single every February of my life, so today I invented a decently tasty chocolate cake, sang hymns at a nursing home with friends, and picked up coffee with my brother.  Expressing kindness and forgiveness toward those around you (Ephesians 4:32) can take the form of romance, relations, or friendships.  Yet, remember this:  in the only true love story, only one innocent Person suffered.

Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ (Colossians 2:8).